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2014 NFL Week 12 Predictions




Seattle needs to defeat the 9-1 Arizona Cardinals in week 11.


Kansas City Chiefs 7-3-0
Versus
Oakland Raiders 0-10-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The Chiefs are on a 5 game win streak. They are tied with the Broncos for first place in the AFC West. So if anybody thinks the Raiders are going to stand in their way they are greatly mistaken. Chiefs are going to run over the Raiders on the way to their 6 game win streak and the driver seat in the AFC West.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Chiefs over Raiders although Oakland will come out strong to get their first win of the season on Thursday night which seems impossible to predict.





Chris Ransom’s Pick

Most of us did horrible in week 11. Not only was week 11 our worst week in terms of predictions it was our worst week in terms of social media. Chris Ransom only picked 5 games while Jesse called 7 contests with Jason getting nine games right. At the end of the day I’m accountable for this weeks career low on Draft Utopia because I had the shittiest performance on our picks page. By the way franchise quarterbacks blame themselves when things go wrong. Hopefully Robert Griffin III took some notes. Jason is 99-62. Jesse and I both have 96 games correct, but Jesse did not pick games for the first week so he has a better picking percentage than me at the moment. You can make picks on our Draft Utopia message boards. The one person on the message boards who got more picks than all of us this week was theDUDE. His posts on the message boards are absolutely epic.


Congrats theDUDE you went 11-4 this week and your commentary on these games was absolutely epic.


Dolphins win.

Bears finally win a damn home game. Cutler has a big day WOOF WOOF!

Browns beat Texans, but Mallett outplays Hoyer. Cleveland wins on the ground again.

Falcons will beat the Panthers. Go birdies.

Bengals win on the road. Saints lose again.

Broncos barely beat Rams in overtime.

49ers will beat the Giants. San Francisco has the better team and will get all their players at the right time.

Chiefs get the win. Smokey the Chief kicks ass WOOF WOOF!

RGIII can Luck my balls. Get it he was drafted after Luck and now looks like the Ryan Leaf to Luck's Manning. Haha that's a good one.

Chargers over the Raiders.

Packers over the Eagles. Mark Sanchez Discount Double Douche.

Drew Stanton beats Stafford the stiff before imploding. The former Lion delivers against his old team as Peterson and Cromartie disable the Detroit offense. Thinking something along the lines like 14-6.

Colts over Patriots time for Luck to drop a steamer on TomBrady12. Jim Irsay can get drunk and poop on Belichick too.

Steelers over Titans. Mike Munchak the former Titans HC will devise an evil game plan to help the Steelers win.

Why the Kansas City Chiefs will win Oakland has to repsect this pass rush. Raiders fans will have problems watching Jamaal Charles tear this front 7 a new asshole.




Why the Oakland Raiders will win Why will the 0-10 Oakland Raiders win? Give me one good reason why.




Prediction: The Chiefs enter as a 7 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $310 dollars on Kansas City. Take Kansas City. This seems like a fairly easy bet.




Final Score Chiefs 28 Raiders 17


Cleveland Browns 6-4-0
Versus
Atlanta Falcons 4-6-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

Every single team in the NFC North is above .500 and it’s giving way to a very interesting playoff chase. I don’t think a wildcard spot will be given to any of those teams so whoever wants in the playoffs will have to win the division. The Browns have been playing pretty good football behind Brian Hoyer and I think they’ll continue that against a horrible Falcons team.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Browns upset the Falcons proving how bad the NFC South is. Josh Gordon plays well in his first game back.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Bill Clinton’s College Football Playoff Selection Special

The College Football Selection Committee Released their second poll with Mississippi State, Florida State, and Auburn still ranked 1,2, and 3 in that order. After #4 Ole Miss lost, the playoff selection committee bumped Oregon up to #4 in the polls. Here is my top 4.

  1. Alabama: Monica Lewinsky State is unbeaten no more. Nick Saban is once again the biggest pimp in college football.

  2. Previous Ranking: #4

  3. Florida State Seminoles: At #2 we have the Florida State Seminoles or as I call them the Semites. The Semites are led by the food stealer. Jameis Winston. So Winston stands up on a table and yells blank her in the pussy. Then Florida State suspends him for an entire game. Winston causes Florida State to drop to third in our poll because of his behavior. Then Notre Dame nearly beats Florida State despite the food stealer going 15/16 in the second half. Did Winston steal Brian Kelly’s playbook or Manti Te’o’s girlfriend. That is what I would like to know. After defeating Notre Dame Fraud University, Florida State defeatd the Miami Hoodlums down in Miami FL on the road as the Seminoles won all of their difficult games. Also I want to be seamus as semen on that blue dress. I did not have sexual relations with Miss Monica Lewinsky.

  4. Previous Ranking: #2

  5. Oregon Ducks: Marcus Mariota and the quack attack will battle Jameis Winston in the College Football Playoff to determine who is the top quarterback in the 2015 NFL Draft.

  6. Previous Ranking: Not Ranked

  7. Ohio State Buckeyes: The College Football Playoff picture looks a lot clearer. No Hall pass for Monica Lewinsky State. Mississippi State loss. I am going to donate this four spot to Urban Meyer who will celebrate by donating money to a charity.

  8. Previous Ranking: Not Ranked

Why the Cleveland Browns will win Josh Gordon will be back. This pass defense is one of the worst in the NFL.


Cleveland looked very good on pass defense against Andy Dalton before playing really bad at home against Ryan Mallett. Cornerbacks Joe Haden, Buster Skrine, K’Waun Williams, and Justin Gilbert will cover their receivers. Strong safety Donte Whitner and free safety Tashaun Gipson are also players to watch.




Why the Atlanta Falcons will win Atlanta is a much better team at home. Also the Falcons are undefeated in the Georgia Dome. Atlanta has Matt Ryan and a strong supporting cast of playmakers that may help this team go to 5-6.




Prediction: The Falcons enter as a 3 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $160 dollars on Atlanta. This is a low bet that could go either way. I say Atlanta wins in a push.




Final Score Falcons 27 Browns 24


Tennessee Titans 2-8-0
Versus
Philadelphia Eagles 7-3-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The Titans got their hopes crushed after Bell led the Steelers in a comeback on Monday night. The Eagles aren’t as bad as they looked against the Packers either. The Eagles have a better defense than the Steelers and the Offense will be in groove this week while the Eagles route the Titans.



Jason Bantle’s Confidence Pool

Eagles over Titans is the biggest blowout this week.





Chris Ransom’s Prediction

Draft Utopia Interigation Room Episode 4 by cowpote on GoAnimate

Why the Tennessee Titans will win Tennessee had the choke job of the century on Monday Night against the Steelers. I agree with Jason and expect that to contnue.




Why the Philadelphia Eagles will win Philadelphia realizes the implications of this game. Plus the Eagles are far better at rushing the quarterback than the Titans. Trent Cole and Connor Barwin will have big games as both should have a slight edge over Taylor Lewan and Michael Oher in pass protection.




Prediction: The Eagles enter as a 11 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $750 dollars on Philadelphia. I think the Eagles win, but the Titans cover the spread.




Final Score Eagles 21 Titans 13


Detroit Lions 7-3-0
Versus
New England Patriots 8-2-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

New England. The Patriots defense is playing at an amazing level and the offense is matching that on a weekly basis. Patriots blow out the Lions this week.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Patriots over Lions solely based on home field.





Chris Ransom’s Pick

@CockyBelichick is my favorite Twitter user of all time. His twitter feed is that epic. He always inserts the #kisstherings hashtag and it is badass. I’m going to post his 5 best tweets on our site every week like David Letterman does with his top 10 jokes until the owner of this twitter feed requests I take them down because his tweets are that epic.



Lesson number one never leave New England.



Well said it always seems like the media wants to give Peyton Manning a hall pass.



Good call coach Belichick. Patriots won 42-20.



I know Andrew Luck can be a pain in the ass to play against, but you always beat him. Plus cross referencing WW2 or Pearl Harbor with 1941 was completely unnecessary.



Miss Steele would love to spend a fine evening with Jonas Gray.



Why the Detroit Lions will win On offense Detroit has everyone back. As long as the Lions avoid turnovers they have a chance.




Why the New England Patriots will win Cornerbacks like Darrell Revis and Brandon Browner will shut down Calvin Johnson and Golden Tate. Patrick Peterson and Antonio Cromartie took care of business against the Lions last week.


Tom Brady only threw 1 interception at home all season. Brady is much better at Gillette Stadium. Sometimes Matthew Stafford struggles outdoors which is why I love the Patriots this sunday.




Prediction: The Patriots enter as a 7 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $300 dollars on New England. I like the Patriots this Sunday.




Final Score Patriots 34 Lions 24


Green Bay Packers 7-3-0
Versus
Minnesota Vikings 4-6-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The Packers are coming off of two 50+ point games. They were able to put up 50 points against the Eagles I don’t expect the Vikings to be able to stop them.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Packers over Vikings. The Vikings do better against Green Bay at home and I strongly considered taking Minnesota if Peterson returned on Sunday. Now Peterson is suspended. Without Adrian Peterson they cannot defeat the Packers.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the Green Bay Packers will win Green Bay destroyed the Minnesota Vikings the last time these teams played. There is a good chance they do it again.




Why the Minnesota Vikings will win Minnesota may have an easier time stopping the pass rush with Clay Matthews moving inside to 3-4 middle linebacker. Then again Brandon Fusco is still out at right guard. Adrian Peterson may not return at running back, but Kyle Rudolph is back and better than ever at tight end.




Prediction: The Packers enter as a 9.5 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $450 dollars on Green Bay. I like the Packers big on Sunday.




Final Score Packers 34 Vikings 17


Jacksonville Jaguars 1-9-0
Versus
Indianapolis Colts 6-4-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The Colts had a bad week against the Patriots following their bye week, but expect a big bounce back from Andrew Luck and company this week against a weak Jaguars team.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Colts over Jacksonville to redeem themselves from Sunday Night Football in a blowout.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the Jacksonville Jaguars will win They will not. The Colts got this. This game is the lock of the week.




Why the Indianapolis Colts will win None of the other quarterbacks in the AFC South have anything on Andrew Luck. Expect the Colts to runaway with this game.




Prediction: The Colts enter as a 14 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $950 dollars on Indianapolis. I like the Colts to cover the spread.




Final Score Colts 31 Jaguars 14


Cincinnati Bengals 6-3-1
Versus
Houston Texans 5-5-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

That awkward moment when JJ Watt has more touchdown receptions than Marques Colston, Victor Cruz, Andre Johnson, and Wes Welker. Yea it’s true. What’s crazier JJ Watt has the same amount of total touchdowns as Calvin Johnson. Now that the Texans are starting Mallett they have a chance of actually doing something. I think it will be difficult to dispatch the Colts from their seat at the front of the AFC South, but the Texans are only 1 game back so it’s possible. The Texans start their run this week against the Bengals.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Bengals in a mini-upset of Ryan Mallet and the Texans. Here is an interesting side-note for this game, Bengals owner Mike Brown wanted to draft Ryan Mallet before he was convinced by the coaching staff to go with Andy Dalton.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the Cincinnati Bengals will win A.J. Green and Mohammed Sanu are both back at full health. The Texans are ranked 31st in pass defense as Kareem Jackson missed the week 11 game at cornerback for the Texans.


Another reason to like the Bengals is because the Texans will have trouble getting to Dalton. I do not care how good the Texans secondary is. If Dalton gets time in the pocket he will find Green or Sanu open to move the chains.




Why the Houston Texans will win Nobody expects Ryan Mallett to win again. I think that works in the Texans favor to an extent since the Bengals have a disadvantage at secondary and linebacker.




Prediction: The Texans enter as a 2 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $120 dollars on Houston. This will be a high scoring game where the team with the ball last wins.




Final Score Texans 20 Bengals 17


New York Jets 2-8-0
Versus
Buffalo Bills 5-5-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

I was trying to think of a really good reason of why the bills will beat the Jets. I asked my wife what she thought and her response was “because everyone beats the Jets.” The Bills just got upset by the Dolphins and are fighting to get a wildcard spot. The Jets on the other hand “get beat by everyone”. Honestly the Jets haven’t been able to stop a nosebleed this year, they’re not gonna stop the Bills offense.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Bills over the Jets in easy fashion to make up for their loss to the Dolphins.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the New York Jets will win This feels like another lock. Kyle Orton and this Bills pass rush defeats the Jets.




Why the Buffalo Bills will win The New York Jets have yet to win on the road. Buffalo will win this game after getting time off following the Thursday Night game against the Dolphins.




Prediction: The Bills enter as a 4.5 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $200 dollars on Buffalo. I am surprised that the Bills are only slight favorites. Buffalo wins this game to save their season.




Final Score Bills 34 Jets 0


Tampa Bay Buccaneers 2-8-0
Versus
Chicago Bears 4-6-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

Who has two thumbs and knows the Buccaneers and the Bears are both awful? THIS GUY!!!! The Buccaneers are a bad team this year. The bears are another bad team this year. The difference is that the bears have the makeup to be one of the best offenses in the league this year. Their offense has been hit and miss at best this season. I’m saying this week will be one of their few hit weeks.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

I like Tampa on the road. The play so well on the road against anyone and the Bears just do not seem to care. Cutler's expressions last week said it all.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the Tampa Bay Buccaneeers will win Josh McCown wants to prove that the Bears were stupid to get rid of him after he filled in for Jay Cutler when Cutler was injured last year. Tampa Bay does better on the road like Jason stated anyway.




Why the Chicago Bears will win Now that Chicago won at home they will be more confident. It depends on which Jay Cutler shows up.




Prediction: The Bears enter as a 5.5 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $230 dollars on Chicago. I like the Buccaneers by 1 on Sunday.




Final Score Buccaneers 21 Bears 20


Arizona Cardinals 9-1-0
Versus
Seattle Seahawks 6-4-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The Seahawks get a home win after a long stretch of bad games this year. I still don’t think the Seahawks are going to make the playoffs. I think the 12th man will just be too much for Drew Stanton and company to overcome.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Seattle over Arizona because it is in Seattle and they absolutely need this game while the Cards do not.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the Arizona Cardinals will win Arizona has excellent team chemistry unlike Seattle who has poor team chemistry. Arizona defeated Seattle on the road last year. The cornerbacks for Arizona are playing at a high level once again.




Why the Seattle Seahawks will win Seattle needs this win at home. Sherman, Maxwell, Thomas, and Chancellor are all back on secondary. The pass defense looks sharp again. Russell Wilson looked better on the road, but Marshawn Lynch struggled in Kansas City.




Prediction: The Seahawks enter as a 6.5 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $275 dollars on Seattle. I like the Seahawks by a touchdown on Sunday.




Final Score Seahawks 24 Cardinals 17


St. Louis Rams 4-6-0
Versus
San Diego Chargers 6-4-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The Chargers are in the hunt for a playoff spot. Whether that be a division winner spot or wildcard they have decent chance of getting both. The Rams got lucky against the Broncos and I don’t expect them to keep it up against the Chargers. As long as Philip Rivers plays the Chargers will win.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

I will take the Chargers over the Rams because the game is on the west coast but the Rams scare me. hey already beat San Francisco, Seattle, and Denver.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the St. Louis Rams will win St. Louis beat Seattle, San Francisco, and Denver. Maybe Shaun Hill will win again.




Why the San Diego Chargers will win San Diego needs this win. I expect the Chargers to get back to winning games while making a push for a possible playoff spot.




Prediction: The Chargers enter as a 5 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $210 dollars on San Diego. I like the Chargers in a close defensive game on Sunday.




Final Score Chargers 21 Rams 14


Miami Dolphins 6-4-0
Versus
Denver Broncos 7-3-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

I’m picking the Dolphins for the upset this week. The Broncos got beat by the Rams this week and in the game lost 2 of Manning 4 All-Star caliber weapons. I haven’t heard yet if they are out for any significant amount of time, but I’m assuming with this prediction at least one of them will be. The Dolphins pull off the huge upset in Denver this week.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

I like the Broncos over the Dolphins. I still think the Broncos are the best team in football on a neutral field. This game might be a playoff preview.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the Miami Dolphins will win Miami won without Branden Albert at left tackle. Ryan Tannehill had a superb game. This time around he faces a much tougher Broncos secondary with Aqib Talib, T.J. Ward, Rahim Moore, Chris Harris, Kayvon Webster as a nickel cornerback, and Bradley Roby as a dime cornerback. Tannehill is a talented quarterback, but I am not sure how he reacts to Ware and Von Miller.


Miami will have to play good defense and run the ball effectively. That is the only way they can beat Denver.




Why the Denver Broncos will win No way Denver is as bad as last week. I could see Manning winning out from this point forward kind of like what Brady’s done with the Patriots.




Prediction: The Broncos enter as a 7 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $315 dollars on Denver. I like Denver when you consider they have more on the line. Still Miami finds a way to cover the spread.




Final Score Broncos 21 Dolphins 17


Washington Redskins 3-7-0
Versus
San Francisco 49ers 6-4-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The 49ers season is all but over, they’ll still get the win against the dysfunctional Redskins. That won’t amount to much though in the scope of their entire season.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

49ers over the Redskins. RG3 regime might be over.





Chris Ransom’s Pick


Why the Washington Redskins will win I was wrong about RGIII. Robert Griffin III is a bust if he cannot even beat Tampa Bay at home. As awesome as it would be to see the Redskins play spoiler in San Francisco it will not happen.




Why the San Francisco 49ers will win San Francisco will bring defensive intensity in this contest. Aldon Smith and Navarro Bowman will have big games.




Prediction: The 49ers enter as a 9 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $390 dollars on San Francisco. I like the 49ers in a low scoring game.




Final Score 49ers 13 Redskins 10


Dallas Cowboys 7-3-0
Versus
New York Giants 3-7-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

The Cowboys are actually playing pretty good this year. The Giants are not. Demarco Murray is going to run all over the Giants defense on the way to a Cowboys win. And a 150+ rushing yard game for him.



Jason Bantle’s Pick

The Cowboys are off a bye and are better on the road than at home so they should easily handle the Giants even with Jennings running the ball. I love Beckham though.





Chris Ransom’s Pick

This just in. Jerry Jones has just hired former Initech Vice President Bill Lumbergh as the new GM and team consultant for the Dallas Cowboys. Every week we will get Lumbergh’s two cents on the Dallas Cowboys. So far Lumbergh is 7-2-0 after taking over as GM in week 2. The Cowboys won in Lumbergh’s first six games as General Manager/Team Consultant.




Here is this weeks advice from Bill Lumbergh.

"Hi Jason. Um yeah! If you can make Jerry Reese the GM of the Giants and Eli Manning lose their jobs in addition to head coach Tom Coughlin that would be terrific."

Why the Dallas Cowboys will win Everyone on the Dallas Cowboys offense is healthy. DeMarco Murray leads the NFL with 1,233 rushing yards. All Dallas has to do is run the ball and they win. Dallas is 4-0 on the road in 2014.


The Cowboys defense is playing like a middle of the pack defense rather than a bottom feeder defense ranking 12th in run defense and 14th in pass defense. Dallas is good enough to get to the playoffs. They will likely lose once the NFL Playoffs begin.




Why the New York Giants will win The New York Giants offense is back at full health too. Without Prince Amukamara this defense has no soul. New York is now 30th in run defense and 22nd in pass defense.




Prediction: The Cowboys are a 3.5 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $165 dollars on Dallas. The Cowboys win by a touchdown.

Final Score Cowboys 21 Giants 14


Baltimore Ravens 6-4-0
Versus
New Orleans Saints 4-6-0


Jesse Lucas’ Pick

Saints/Ravens could go either way but the Saints cannot POSSIBLY lose 3 in a row in the Super Dome right? RIGHT?!



Jason Bantle’s Pick

Saints/Ravens could go either way but the Saints cannot POSSIBLY lose 3 in a row in the Super Dome right? RIGHT?!





Chris Ransom’s Prediction

Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, and Lisa Salters need to go their separate ways. Gruden is okay, but John Saunders would be a major upgrade over Tirico. Imagine if Pittsburgh Sports Personalities with top-notch credibility like Bob Pompieni, Mark Madden, and Andrew Filiponi called this game instead of Tirico, Gruden, and Salters.


Pompieni: Welcome to Monday Night Football. Bob Pompieni along with Mark Madden and Andrew Filiponi covering ESPN Monday Night Football on KDKA. Mark what are your thoughts on this game?

Madden: Were in New Orlleans home of Emeril. BAM!

Pompieni: How do you feel about watching the Ravens after this game Mark.

Madden: Watching the Ravens is the only part about Monday Night Football that blows this week.

Filiponi: Speaking of Ravens do you think Ray Lewis will kill someone this week. Ever since we took over Monday Night Football ESPN is looking for work.

Madden: Of course Ray Lewis will kill someone. Framing Trent Dilfer for a crime he did not committ is also believable.

Pompieni: Nobody is killing anybody. We’re professionals at KDKA. If you see anyone with a gun you are to notify the police.

Filiponi: You cannot trust the police. Speaking of the Saints do you think we will see any Drew Brees commercials.

Madden: Oh you mean like the Drew Brees viagara commercials where he throws the football to his yellow lab. Those are hillarious.

Filiponi: Those are the wrangler commercials with Brett Favre you dumbass.

Madden: BOUNTYGATE! Speaking of bountygate Rams defensive coordinator Greg Williams who was the defensive coordinator had an awesome game plan as he helped the Rams beat the Broncos.

Pompieni: The Rams winning was a huge upset. The Drew Brees commercial that you were thinking about was Nyquil. Mark who do you think will win.

Madden: VAGINAGATE VS BOUNTYGATE. The Ravens looked at vaginas of Saints cheerleaders before tonights game and the Saints cheated their way to a Super Bowl with bountygate. Still the Saints have more integrity then the shitty Ravens which is why I am picking them to win.

Pompieni: There is no such thing as VAGINAGATE.

Madden: What about BOOBGATE?

Filipoini: Or PENISGATE!

Madden: Homo.

Pompieni: You guys need to stop talking about genetials. Tonights game is sponsored by Nyquil. Nyquil the Drew Brees commercial that relieves you of stress and puts you to sleep when you have to deal with A holes like Madden and Filiponi. We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors.




Why the Baltimore Ravens will win Baltimore can win if they score early on New Orleans.




Why the New Orleans Saints will win New Orleans is too good to lose 3 in a row at home. I never thought I would say this but if the Saints lose three in a row they should fire Sean Payton.




Prediction: The Saints are a 3.5 point favorite. The average gambler is betting $175 dollars on New Orleans. The Saints are too good to lose at home. I like the Saints by two touchdowns.


Final Score Saints 28 Ravens 14




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